Today is 4 weeks after I gave birth to my beautiful baby girl and so I decided to share a little about my birth experience. First of all, had to tell that from the beginning of my pregnancy my hubby and I were not sure completely about our due date since based on some doctors calculations and ultrasounds it could be anytime from June 30th to July 17th. Honestly, I was thinking it's gonna be somewhere between, and so was starting to count days at end of June month which made me and people around me so anxious about when the baby will come. In last few weeks I was even obsessed about finding ways to naturally induce labor since I was afraid I will pass my actual date. Of course by googling about induction, you can find a lot of information about that but I didn't want to risk my pregnancy by experimenting something new so I just continued with what I was already doing just increased a bit my daily walking, doing certain exercises like deep plie squat, stair master, trying to relax, and let it happen when it's supposed to. Actually, I also drank few cups of raspberry leaf tea since I heard that it can help with labor, can't hurt and it is tasty so I was like why not try it out, but I don't recommend nothing particular since every body is different and will respond differently.
I am thankful that I had a healthy pregnancy that allowed me to stay active and keep working as usual till the actual birth day. Since I was feeling fine, beside of course some of the expected symptoms that pregnancy brings such as feeling bit heavier, getting tired more quickly and so, but nothing restricting because of what I would take earlier time off, I kept my work schedule as usual. However, all my clients knew that I could go into labor any day so we were in contact all the time and double confirming every training day before. On Sunday the July 14th, I was feeling fine in the first part of the day, had few contractions but didn't stress about since I had almost every day Braxton contractions in last few weeks. Therefore, I confirmed all my trainings for to following week thinking that baby won't come at least for next few days. Little did I know then lol:)
In the late afternoon I got such a huge urge to clean house, arrange every single detail and my hubby was trying to convince me to rest but I was so energized! After doing some cleaning, I started to feel some contractions and for the first time some lower back pain too. At first I thought that I maybe overdid with cleaning so I slowed down and try to relax in my bed but the tension didn't go away. I started to get little hopes that it might be finally the real signs of labor but didn't want to get disappointed and so to take my mind off we went for another walking session of that day. I was walking much slower, and I had to stop couple times since the contractions were becoming more intense and frequent. When we came back home, I downloaded an application to help me track contractions. I took a long warm shower, ate a Greek salad, and was bouncing on my Pilates ball trying to breathe deep and stay calm through contraction that were every 5,6 min apart. My hubby was thinking that I should let know everyone that I am not coming to work tomorrow and that we should go to hospital but I decided to wait a bit more so that I am completely sure that it's really happening. I guess I just couldn't believe that time to meet our baby finally came and I was so nervous. I couldn't fall asleep due to pain and anxiety till almost 3 am, and I got up at 5am as usual for my early birds clients. I felt little bit better, so I decided to go to work as planned. When I came to gym, I already started to feel again more frequent contractions but was able to manage to still train my clients. I finished with my last morning training at 10 am and went home for a break, my hubby was waiting me for a breakfast and we discussed about how I feel and that I should call doctor to let them know about my symptoms. Call me crazy but I was still thinking I can work till the rest of that day at least. I changed my mind after less than an hour since contractions were getting again very intense and I called labor and delivery. They told me that I am in early labor but I can still stay home since it is more convenient than hospital and come maybe later when I literally can't talk through contractions. I didn't believe that they meant literally not being able to talk, and that will get like that! I called my manager to let him know that I am not coming to work since I am in beginning phase of labor.
Due to excitement I could not stay still and so we put my hospital bag into car and hubby drove me to nail appointment, which helped me to relax and little after I lost my mucus plug. That was another sign meaning that labor is really happening and I was so excited that I forgot about how nervous I was about giving birth, I was just thinking about that we will meet out princess in no time. We had a light lunch, and then on our way to hospital I informed about my situation my other clients that I was supposed to train that afternoon.
When we came to hospital and doctor checked me, he said that I was only 2cm dilated so they can't admit me yet, but that I should go for a walk and come back in about 2 hours to see if any changes happened. We did so, we were walking around, did little shopping, bought some cute outfits for our baby. It became more difficult for me to move and I was starting to feel such a pain in my thighs as well and just generally felling so exhausted. After we came back to hospital, no much change happened, I think they said that I was maybe 2.5cm or so what made me feel disappointed since I was in such a pain and I was not even half way there. Doctor said that I go home, try to get some rest and come back in about 6 hours or earlier if I really need to.
Although it is more convenient at home, I still couldn't rest, sleep or do anything due to so painful contractions that were every 3,4 min now and some of them lasting even up to 2 min so I felt like not having a break, and starting to really feel that moment of "not being able to talk through contractions". I somehow managed to send couple emails to some of my clients with some workouts that I prepared for them to do while I'm out of work and I contacted everyone letting them know what is happening. Then I tried relaxing in warm bath which helped a little bit for just few moments but nothing could really alleviate that pain and pressure. So around 1am which was about 6 hours later as they told us, we head back to hospital where they final admitted me. I still wasn't dilated much more but the extra strong and frequents contractions made my baby little stressed so doctor wanted to keep an eye on me and baby. Also they put me on IV since it seemed like I was dehydrated although I was drinking tons of water all the time. After I was admitted, I lost track of time and just wanted that active labor to starts before I get completely exhausted what I was about to be. They asked me if I want any medications for pain that will at least help me fall asleep but I was refusing everything.
After few hours, they put me on Pitocin to help speed up the process and they gradually increased the dose of it what made contractions even more painful. Later around on the 16th I think around noon, I decided to try the gas mask to relieve at least some pain but it didn't work for me so I kept struggling through pain starting to feel very weak and even sick like I am going to throw up. My hubby was by my side all the time, providing me support as much as he can, and I was desperately asking that he talks to me about some of our nice memories or something that will take my mind off from pain.
After some time, since I was still dilated only 3ish cm doctor suggested to give me some narcotic convincing me that the process of dilation will be faster if I could relax and maybe sleep a little bit to also get some energy back for the actual delivery. I accept it and I was able to sleep for about an hour or so after what I woke up screaming due to pain and they immediately checked me, I was dilated 7cm what meant I was in active labor finally! I was also surprised how much I dilated suddenly but after that it slowed down a bit again and pain was getting worse now, so when I was about 7.5cm almost 8 I think I discussed with doctor about epidural and they explained me everything about and that if I want it I would have to take it immediately before I get more dilated. I thought about how quickly I was dilating more when I get a bit of pain away, so I accepted to take a small dose if it and then if I need it more during the process I can just press the button but of course it is set up in such way that you can get more than you should no matter how much you press the button. Anyway, I was satisfied with even that little initial relief and don't remember I pressed more than one more time during the whole process, since I still wanting to have a feeling of contractions what allows for better pushing. After taking epidural, everything seems to go at least little bit faster and more manageable, I had feeling that I am again in better control of myself and that gave me more confidence and strength for the rest of the labor. When I reached 10 cm of dilation, we still waited a bit more until baby descend further down to pass that zero stage.
The pushing phase started around 8pm, and when toward the end I was hinking I am losing strength but doctors and my hubby were so supportive all the time, and when they told me that they can see the head so it's really close, that made me smile and gave me more energy to keep going. At 21:48pm on July 16th 2019, our princess Isabella Emily Arapovic was born. She weighted 7lbs 9oz and was 22inch long. Her little cry brought me tears of happiness and made my heart so full instantly.
The actual feeling of baby coming out from my body was such an incredible experience, mixed with so many emotions in just a few seconds. I still feel chills only thinking about it! I could not stop crying and laughing at the same time. Also when I saw our baby girl, and that she looks literally the same as she did in some of my dreams I was so overwhelmed with happiness and was just repeating to my hubby that I can't believe we made it and that she is finally here with us. This immediate chemical connection that I felt holding her is amazing.
The fact that every mother tells you how you forget about pain and any struggle you had, the moment you hold your child in your arms is completely true and I can finally say it based my own experience. I am so happy and grateful that everything went well with my whole pregnancy and birth, and so now we have our gorgeous healthy daughter that made us parents for the first time and changed our lives forever, for better.
Written by Tamara Arapovic
